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I’m a Diva

Submitted by on Tuesday, 17 May 2011

I’m a Diva. With my super-short hair, my unique style, my ginormous eyes, and my obvious attitude, it’s easy to spot. That, and

  • the number of paparazzi that continually follow my every move as I slave at my computer all day;
  • the millions in my bank account – although obviously, someone at the bank has a digit or two wrong, because by virtue of years/hours worked, I should have millions;
  • The Donald has me on speed dial but often forgets to push the button;
  • I was to be the first Senior Millionaire on How to Marry a Millionaire but the deal fell through when I wouldn’t marry anyone over 55;
  • my facial expressions, personality, and overall Diva-ness are far superior to the ice queens – Marlene, Gretta, Loretta, Madonna, or Lady G – and certainly any women who think they rule the sales field (my friends Anne and Jill aside);
  • I’m at least as enlightened as Shirley McClaine, with better legs – at least as good a dancer when I can get away from the computer for an evening to go dancing.

So here are my questions. Given my obvious and extreme Diva-ness,

  • Why isn’t the right person showing up and helping me create the Institute for Facilitation, so I can teach decision facilitation, learning facilitation, buying facilitation, coaching facilitation, and relationship facilitation to all who want to serve others? My dream is to use decision facilitation to help coaches, families, couples, parents, teachers, doctors, etc.
  • Where is the husband? Doesn’t he realize that by showing up he gets the most warm and generous, kind and fun (and demanding, as all Divas are)  Diva in, well, Forever? Come on, Dude. I’m easy to spot: the one with the eyes, sitting at the computer.
  • Where’s my Bill Gates to buy my brilliant navigation patents that would seriously help his Bing.com group? Or the marketing automation folks to buy out my new contact sheet that really follows the buyer’s decision path from the beginning?
  • Where’s my cable TV show – The Church of Sharon Drew? With my attitude and wisdom, I could match Susie with her money, Martha with her kitchen, and Arianna with her blog.
  • Where are my minions to do shit for me? My shopping, my cooking, my cleaning? It’s so tiring to think of all of this when I work 16 hours a day.
  • The entourage to fight off the paparazzi while worshiping and adoring me? Someone has to show up to worship and adore, for god’s sake.

And if you’re a regular reader of my stuff, and it has made a difference to your life, buy something from me and give it to your boss as a gift. Then you can fulfill one of my other dreams – to help the entire world of sellers use Buying Facilitation® as one aspect of their  sales training programs so they can truly, truly serve their customers while making a lot more money.

Do I really need to be a diva to change the world? Does my material really need to be exactly the same as sales to be accepted (but then it wouldn’t be needed, would it?) ?  Or can I just have solid material that makes a difference?

sd

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