Coaches lose at least 50% of their clients after the first round of coaching. Just like sellers, coaches blame the clients.Where do the clients go? They weren’t ready to change/buy; they maintained their status quo; they used a competitor.

But that’s not the problem. The problem is that the coaching model (and here I’m going to buck the conventional wisdom) merely works within the bias of both coach and client, in the same way that placing a solution and asking information-gathering questions works within the bias of the seller’s bias and ability to fix a problem with their solution.

THERE IS A DIFFERENT APPROACH WITH DIFFERENT RESULTS POSSIBLE

I understand that coaches – like sellers – pride themselves on understanding, wanting to help, caring, and being professional. I’ve spoken and met with dozens of coaches, from all levels of expertise and price – from $300 to $3,000 an hour – and I’ve noticed the same problem: coaching gathers data about ‘the problem’ so the coach can understand and then ‘lead’ the client to an answer.

Make no mistake: once someone is gathering data, the questions are biased. As a result, the responses will be biased.

But change isn’t based on information, and we don’t decide to change because we offer or hear cogent, rational data. Until or unless anyone is able to make internal changes that their current system (that currently holds the need or problem) is willing to adopt, no change will happen. And change rarely starts with a shift in behavior; change begins once there is a belief or values shift internally: then the behavior shifts accordingly.

Say you smoke and want to stop. If you really understand – I mean REALLY understand – that smoking is unhealthy (and you’d have to be living under a rock not to understand this by now), you would have stopped already. The fact that you haven’t means there is a much larger issue than a rational or behavioral issue.

What is causing you to continue? Why do you want to stop? What happened when you tried before?  Those aren’t the relevant issues. The most relevant issue is Who Are You. If you don’t see yourself as a Healthy Person, you may have a belief set that allows smoking to be a bad habit, or an indulgence, or something you deserve, or that you – like your grandfather-who-smoked-all-his-life-and-lived-til-100 – won’t be affected by it.

CHANGE HAPPENS FIRST AT THE BELIEF LEVEL – IT’S NOT BEHAVIOR BASED

Coaching skills, as they are trained in the U.S. today, do not manage Belief Change. I have run coaching sessions with heads of the top coaching schools to show them the difference between what they are training and how to use decision facilitation skills to actually help change take place. They were all mightily impressed. One of them said she got more out of 45 minutes with me than her own coach after 2 months of working on the same issue.

But they all ended with the same comments: “This is so different from what we’re teaching we’d have to revamp some of our programs and we’re not prepared to do that.” Ah. Another paradigm I’ll need 20 years to shift! There aren’t enough years left!

Hopefully, you will read some of my books and learn some of the decision facilitation material to help your clients or your friends or your staff. The baseline beliefs are the same as sales:

1. until or unless people are ready, willing, and able to recognize and manage all of the internal systems issues that have created and maintain their status quo, permanent change is not possible. That means they must address many of their unconscious issues, and regular questions only get to the conscious responses (vs. Facilitative Questions that get to the unconscious).
2. information does not create a new decision to change. Change happens when the internal systems issues that maintain the status quo are able to agree with a change, and make room for it internally in a way that will enable the system to maintain congruence.
3. the sorts of change that clients – buyers or coachees – seek require some form of internal change before anything new can be added to the internal system of behaviors. It’s necessary for their to be belief changes and systems buy-in as a precursor to behavior change.
4. Behaviors change once the underlying system has room for something new and is assured it won’t self-destruct if it changes.

The person smoking would need to become a Healthy Person before quitting smoking – change at the endemic, systems, Identity level, not merely behavior. Learn how to lead your buyer or your coachee through the decision phases that will allow them to change from the inside out (see Dirty Little Secrets – half of the book is about how change happens). THEN you can gather data and offer your wonderful solution.

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Coaching does not have to be like sales is a post from: SharonDrewMorgen.com

‘How are you currently training your sales folks?’ I asked.

“We’re not. We bring them together once a month, discuss product, and complain about not closing sales. And give each other advice.”

‘How is that working in terms of the results you’re getting? It must be working well or you wouldn’t be doing it.’ I continued.

“Sure. We’re doing our numbers, and have been reaching them consistently for years. So we’re fine.”

‘And, out of curiosity, what has stopped you from buying from Joe and actually adding some new skills training somewhere along the way?” I asked.

“My boss doesn’t believe it in. He says that we’re doing ok, and why fix something that isn’t broken. I’ve tried to convince him that we need some new skills, but he won’t hear of it. I got on the call this morning with you to see if you could call him and convince him.”

‘I can’t convince anyone – especially people who don’t think they have a need and see no problem with what they are doing. If he actively wanted to speak with me I could help him expand his range of choices. But first, I’m curious about why you’ve stayed in a relationship with Joe, and discussed the possibility of  hiring him to do a sales training with you if you knew you couldn’t buy any training from him,’ I said.

“We like each other. We’re in a relationship. Plus, you never know. We might get lucky.”

“And,” my client added, “I can tell he has a need, and I have the perfect solution, and I know they have money. I want to be there when his boss changes his mind.”

The Buyer Must Recognize A Need To Change

How many sales people are doing a ‘relationship’ sale, spending time learning about ‘need’ and ‘decision makers’, and pitching product, until the buyer ‘is ready’?  And then sitting and waiting, hoping the sale will close?

Using Buying Facilitation and Facilitative Questions, prospects can be led to recognize a need that they hadn’t recognized, or recognize the action steps they need to take en route to Excellence, or discover who else needs to  buy-in to choose a solution to purchase. A couple of generic examples taken out of their normal  sequencing:

How would you know when adding new skills would give you the results you deserve?

or

At what point would you consider adding new skills to the ones your folks are already using successfully?

Facilitative Questions, used correctly, might open up possibilities that didn’t originally occur to the prospect. But they are not using ‘convincing’ or any form of manipulation; they merely are a series of sequenced thinking guides that help the person recognize what they need to consider as they discover if new decisions are necessary.

Convincer strategies, charm, good information, and possible ‘need’ don’t help someone decide something different. And until someone recognizes the desire to have something they don’t, and the internal system/environment (the people, the way they run their business, etc.) is ready, willing, able to bring in something new, nothing will happen. No matter the need that we recognize. And ‘convincing’ is useless: we’ve tried for decades to ‘understand need’ and ‘be right’ and all it has gotten us is a 90% failure rate.

If Joe used Buying Facilitation, he could have facilitated a different conversation with his boss – and helped the boss work through any issues he had about what success might look like with additional skills. He even could have helped him work through his own ego issues (How would you know that an additional skill set would add to what you’re already doing so successfully, without compromising all of the hard work you’ve done?). But trying to convince, trying to offer rational details and reasons when the other person has their own version of reality, just doesn’t work.

Stop selling. Help the buyer decide how to buy based on their own mysterious criteria – not on the need you perceive that they have. It’s not about you or the need. It’s not about you understanding their criteria. It’s about you doing something totally different from selling: truly facilitating their own discovery of their buying criteria, and recognizing the elements they must address as they change. It’s a systems issue, not a need issue.

To learn more about facilitating buying decisions from the standpoint of the stages buyers must go through before a buying decision, go to: www.newsalesparadigm.com and see if anything there will help you learn more. As always, we’re here to answer your questions about how Buying Facilitation can be added to your sales skills and help you close more sales.

Also, have a look at this week’s posts. On a myriad of topics, the blog will give you the tools to do business with integrity.

A ‘Need’ Doesn’t Mean A Buying Decision is a post from: SharonDrewMorgen.com

I have a few thoughts here:

1. Why is the manager delegating his/her responsibility for employee/salesperson success to an outsider who s/he doesn’t know and has no authority over?
2. Great! That means the manager isn’t biased around the route to success so long as the salesperson is successful;
3. The manager is replacing or blending group sales training with individual skills enhancement to give each seller the ability to discover their own favored model for learning and success;
4. The manager should be a co-sponsor, and fund the endeavor as soon as the seller starts to bring in addition revenue and enhanced results;
5. The manager should be part of the final session to ensure s/he can follow up and continue the work of the coach, and understand how best to supervise the coachee to ensure the learning gets carried forward.

The only downside I can see to individual sales coaching is that a sales rep’s new approach might conflict with the company brand, and if the manger has been out of the process, s/he might not recognize potential problems until too late. Not to mention that the sales manager may not be able to supervise appropriately when each seller is doing their own thing.

But as a coach, I’m happy. It gives me a chance to work with dedicated professionals who are actively seeking growth and change and are ready, willing, and able to learn/grow.

If this is indeed a trend, I am delighted: it tells me that the sales profession is finally recognizing the individuation of sellers, and allowing people to discover their own unique routes to success. And it should give the company greater success when sellers are able to follow their own styles and communication patterns and don’t need to fit into a possibly uncomfortable mold.

I’m more concerned that the field of coaching may not be ready to accept all this responsibility, however.

In fact, while sales coaching can be highly effective (as long as the seller acquires sound, replicable skills, and the seller gets weaned from the coach in a reasonable time period), some coaching I’ve seen makes me jittery. Some coaches use the coaching relationship as a vehicle to offer ‘advice’, based on the coach’s view of  ‘excellence’ and based on the coach’s ‘success’ in similar circumstances. In other words, the seller gets to be a clone of the coach.

WHAT IS COACHING

Let’s step back for a moment and understand what coaching is – and can be.

‘Coaching’ is a relatively new term used to describe a one-on-one relationship in which one person is meant to guide another into excellence. In fact, coaching is the new word for consulting – consulting for individuals. And, like with consultants, there is no way to know with certainty, before you begin, if one coach would be better for you than another no matter how good the referral or reputation.

Many consultants have a history of having worked with major consulting firms, so have a discernable track record. When we hire someone who has been a partner at KPMG, for example, we know we will get someone who has a background in accounting, working with large corporations, and who follows a rather linear, strategic approach to change management. Someone who has been a VP at a bank has other qualities commensurate with their work history and banking industry knowledge. But what about all of those new names floating around who have not been associated with a branded employer? And if someone has a good reputation, what does that mean for us, specifically?

While there certainly are a few governing bodies around, and a few programs that teach coaching, most coaches I know are not licensed and have had no specific training in how to ‘coach’ per se. They just deem themselves good at what they do, advertise their expertise, put a price on their heads, and hope enough people will show up to keep them gainfully employed.

Indeed, there is no way of knowing how you will ‘connect’ with a coach – even one with a great reputation – until you have already had one or two sessions.

HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT COACH FOR YOU

Here are a few recommendations to help you choose the most appropriate coach, help alleviate the downside, and maximize the upside.

1. Write down a list of exactly what you want to walk away with. This will change as you learn and grow, but it’s good to have an initial goal. Something like: learn how to close better/faster; or determine high-quality prospects on the first call. You can also add some skills here – like, learn to listen better; or develop better relationships. This is the easiest part of your homework.
2. Begin to grapple with the type of interactivity you want to have. Should it be a Q&A with the coach giving you answers so you could walk away with things to do? Do you want the coach to listen to a particular situation and lead you through actions to a specific goal? Do you strictly want advice?Do you want to learn new skills? Have the coach do interventions on apparent deficiencies (i.e. you may be listening only for a prospect’s ‘content’ cues rather than recognizing their unspoken metamessages, leading to faulty interpretations and wasted time), and teach you new choices? Are you ready to learn where you are less than successful, and may need to change, to garner greater success? Are you ready to change?
3. The type of coach you require depends on the type of change you seek, and the level of trust you’re willing to impart. People who work with me expect me to use my decision facilitation model and lead them through any ineffective communication patterns that keep them from being excellent communication partners and decision strategists. People who choose coaches who have been consultants in large corporations get led through strategic approaches that incorporate the knowledge of job descriptions and responsibilities of different levels of people, internal decision makers and how they operate, and how to work with ‘internal coaches’ to achieve success. Each coach has a different style. What do you want to achieve? And what type of relationship will help you get there?

The point here is that when you enter into a relationship with a coach, you must understand the criteria you’ll use, to give you the best chance of getting your needs met.

I see my job as that of a Neutral Navigator, leading people through their own unique change process, to have them discover, choose, or learn the right skills to use at the right time. Other coaches see their jobs as high level consultants who work alongside their coachees and tell them what is going on – and what needs to happen – each step of the way.

COACHING FOR CHANGE VS. COACHING FOR ACTIVITY

Of course, there are certainly times it’s necessary for me to give advice, especially when folks need a few Facilitative Questions to help clients make decisions. But I deeply believe that people possess most of their own answers as well as very competent, usable skills: they just don’t always recognize when to use one skill over another, and sometimes end up using a great skill at the wrong time.

Here’s an example of taking a highly effective skill from a personal situation and transferring it into a selling situation. Let’s work with a client’s annoyance at a prospect’s objection. I would ask my client to compare how she heard that objection versus how she might ‘hear’ a small child tell her of an incident at school. I’d have her then recognize the difference in how she listens in each situation, and lead her to discover how to listen with the same ‘ear’ that she listens to a child with, and see if that changes the choices she’ll have with her prospect. Ultimately, she would end up being able to choose the best listening filter for every communication.

Not everyone wants to go through this sort of process, nor is it relevant in every situation. And some people only want to walk away with a recipe of ‘to dos’.

As you go about the process of choosing a coach, make your best guess as to how will you know, before you begin, which coach would be flexible through time, through contexts, through change. It’s vital that you ask yourself these questions before choosing a coach.

AN EXAMPLE OF COLLABORATIVE SALES COACHING

The foundation of my coaching style is the belief that people exhibit the same communication issues with me as they do with their other communication partners, and we can use our relationship as a model for change. It’s real, it’s real-time, and when something happens between us that I notice as being potentially harmful in a collaborative decision making communication (one of the skills necessary for helping buyers make buying decisions) my client can learn new choices and make any learning mistakes with ME prior to going out and trying the new skills on their prospects and clients.

In my personal belief system, if I continually tell my clients what to do, I’m giving them fish rather than teaching them how to fish. And when I can help folks learn new skills, the skills become a part of their unique style and personality. I’ve just provided the vehicle for learning.

To give you a model of one sort of coaching, I’ll walk you through one of my recent sessions with a new client. Use it as a way to help you consider your own comfort zone and to get clarity on your criteria for choosing the best coach for you.

Prior to our first session, my client sent me a long missive, requesting a list of Facilitative Questions for some complex prospecting calls to “C” level execs. The email contained several pages of types of clients, types of situations, all with requests for input from me.

“Is there a specific reason you decided to send this to me prior to our call?” I asked, as soon as we began, wondering what was behind the missive, curious as to why he didn’t want to wait to discuss the material together, and wondering if he expected me to do a certain amount of homework on his behalf prior to our call.

“I like to have some sort of control over my calls, to know where a call is going to end up and to make sure I would walk away with exactly what I need. I was just taking care of myself.”

“Do you always do that sort of thing?”

“As often as I can.”

“Does it work?”

“Sometimes. Sometimes the call gets away from me and the other person takes over, and then I don’t know how to get it back to where I want it.”

“And how do you know the difference – before you go into ‘control’ mode – between when it will give you what you want, when it won’t, and when it will make the situation worse?”

“I have no idea.”

And so we started our first coaching session.

Much of our session was about his need to have control – what I call an “I Space” (defined as a communication directed toward getting your own needs met without considering the effects on the communication partner or the overall communication), which is very different from a “We Space” (in which both communication partners work toward a Win Win) – over his communication partner.

We then discovered the beliefs he’d need to expand in order to add ‘Win-Win communications’ as a behavioral choice. I didn’t want to suggest he stop trying to wield control. I just wanted him to know the difference between when it would be successful and when it wouldn’t, and have another choice when necessary.

I gave him homework to help him begin to differentiate between the times he
would naturally gravitate toward using control tactics and the gentle, collaborative choices he usually made in his personal life in similar circumstances. From there we built in alternative skills to use for when he recognized the need of a new choice.

In the last fifteen minutes of the call, I gave him some Facilitative Questions for an upcoming conference call with a group of senior partners. We also agreed that in the future, we’d allocate the ‘change’ portion to one half the call, and the ‘to do’ portion in the other half.

KNOW YOUR COMFORT LEVEL

Not every coach works this way. Nor does every coachee want to make personal changes. Working with the type of change that uncovers possibly hidden issues is risky and uncomfortable and takes coach/client trust, coach skill, and client courage.

Whatever the parameters will be, you must be as clear as possible prior to choosing a coach, and get agreement on your preferred working arrangement on the first conversation. And because you’ll sometimes need to shift gears, make sure you have a coach who is flexible enough to be able to offer different types of communication styles.

And, your most important criteria for choosing a coach is your comfort level around change. How much change can you handle? Would you rather be given answers? What would you need answers for, and what would you be willing to go through the change process for? It’s vital that you be honest with yourself here so you can choose the coach to help you achieve your goals.

In summary, your coaching relationship will only be as effective as the clarity of your initial criteria. It’s important to know the difference between when you’re on course and when it’s time to shift. And recognize quickly if the coach you’re working with is not meeting your criteria, and be willing to have a discussion to shift the communication to better meet your needs. In the coaching situation, it’s really all about you.

Sales Coaching: Choosing the right coach. Targeting the right outcome. is a post from: SharonDrewMorgen.com