A woman from Australia recently called me on a cold call. She started by calling me  ‘Sharon.’ For those of you who know me, I refer to myself as Sharon Drew.  Folks who call me ‘Sharon’ are either making a cold call, or haven’t read my books or blogs. I have a long history with this problem, so playfully said, “Ah. You don’t know me well. I call myself Sharon Drew and I use both names.” [Note: for those of you who study Buying Facilitation™ I suggest you begin calls with strangers by giving your own name, saying it's a 'sales call' and then asking who you are speaking with, even though you may have a name in front of you.]

The woman then proceeded to get herself into very hot water.“I’ve read one or two of your books, Sharon, and appreciate them. I am wondering…..”
“Sharon Drew. I call myself Sharon Drew, and use both names.” I was still patient but getting less so.
“You call yourself both names? Ok. I can do that. Did you get my card last month? The card I sent you?”
“What card? I only open cards from folks I know cuz they often contain viruses. Do I know you?”
“No, Sharon, you don’t.”
“Sharon Drew.” If the woman chose to use my name at every possible juncture, at least she could get my name right, especially after having been corrected twice already.
“Ah, yes. Sharon Drew. I sent you a card to look at.”
“Is this a sales call, or are you calling to hire me?”
“No, I’m not calling to hire you.” [Note: this woman was SO out of control on this call.]
“Ok. So this is a sales call. What are you selling.”
“I’m selling cards for you to send to your clients to helps you build a relationship with them.” [Did she not see the humor here? She sent me a card to build a relationship, and I didn't open it, and it harmed the relationship.]
“Um, I don’t use those sorts of ploys to help my buyers make buying decisions. Are you sure you’ve read any of my books?”
“I think we should end this call.”

FAULTY ASSUMPTIONS

What, exactly, was that? This woman was using an age-old sales ploy: send something so I am familiar with her, then call me on a ‘warm’ cold call, and then lure me in on the strength of the offering… not to mention the old Dale Carnegie ploy of using the person’s name a lot. This makes a few serious assumptions:

1. That I opened the card.
2. That I liked the card.
3. That I knew what to do with the card.
4. That I was looking to build relationships with prospects.
5. That I thought that using an email card would build a relationship.
6. That I thought that her card would build the sort of relationship I wanted to have.
7. That the card she sent – even if I opened it – would have created a relationship.
   etc.

Do you get the point here? Just because you have a great product doesn’t mean the buyer knows how to buy it. Here is how a Buying Facilitation™ conversation between us could have started like — without her having to send a card.

“Hello. My name is ____. This is a sales call. Who am I speaking with?”
Sharon Drew – and that’s my first name. And what are you selling?
‘Interesting. OK, Sharon Drew. I’m selling a relationship management solution. How are you currently going about making and maintaining prospect and client relationships?’

From there, she could lead me through my current choices, and determine how I might add another possibility to what I was already doing. She might even have sold me.

When sellers push a solution into a ‘closed system’ that is happy the way it is (whether or not you believe it’s possible for them to be even more successful with your solution), you face rejection: the system doesn’t want to change and will reject, out of hand, anything pushing in. No matter what your solution, or how great the problem, begin all interactions by helping buyers recognize where they are, and what they would need to address if they wanted to expand possibilities. And then lead them to figure out how to get buy-in for change.

As a prospect, me understanding what your solution is makes no sense if I like what I’m already doing and don’t know how to operate, as a person or as a company, with the addition of something new. It goes back to one of my tag lines: Would you rather sell? Or have someone buy.

We have nothing to sell if the prospect has nothing to buy. Stop selling, and help your buyers get buy-in for change. Then you can send all the cards you want.

sd

For those wanting to learn more about how to make prospecting calls, read the Case Study in Dirty Little Secrets: why buyers can’t buy and sellers can’t sell and what you can do about it.

For those wanting to learn more about Buying Facilitation™, take a training with me at the end of May here in Austin.

How not to make a prospecting call is a post from: SharonDrewMorgen.com

But they do anyway. And then they get mad when I don’t read them – especially when they’ve written something personal. They actually expect me to put down what I’m doing and read a one-way missive, interpret what they are meaning and feeling against how I interpret their words, then gather my own thoughts and feelings along the way that I can’t manage cuz the communication is one-way and obviously my thoughts and feelings have no credence – and then, then… then what? I can’t remember what I was thinking and feeling with each paragraph or thought, so I have to go back. And god forbid if I miss something!!

I don’t want to read anything personal on an email! I don’t want to have a one-way conversation — that’s not communication! Why can’t we skype so we can see each other? Or at the very least talk on the phone so I can hear and feel the person? So I can respond to each thought – and then get a chance to share my thought real-time.

On email it seems like a bunch of data thrown at me that I am helpless to directly respond to.  That’s exactly what email is: a place to send quick sound bites of data to fill someone in on some important info: the name of a hotel or meeting spot; friends sharing a joke or daily annoyance. When my lifelong friend Jack doesn’t hear from me for a few days (we’ve been friends for 53 years) he emails me and says, “You ok? I miss you.” Those few words remind me that I have a friend who loves me if I ever get time to pick up the phone. Just a touch. No saga. No missive.

When folks pour their hearts out to me on email, I don’t know what to do. Why don’t they want to tell me in person-ish (so I can hear and feel their feelings and nuances and expressions)? What is it about a one-sided conversation that drive people to write personal stuff about their feelings on a screen that has no human attached, and has shown to be highly capable of being misinterpreted and messing up relationships?

Just like with my name. My first name is two words – Sharon Drew. I tell people I use them both. I tell people I’m sensitive to it. But by the third email when they still address me as Sharon, and the third time I say, “Btw – my first name is both words – sharon drew – and I use them both, and I’m kinda sensitive to it. If you could please remember to call me Sharon Drew I’d really appreciate it.” I must admit I’m about ready to end the relationship. I feel unheard, unloved, and disrespected. Of course it has nothing to do with me, but on email, it feels personal because I have no way to respond that’s working.

I was once at a conference, sitting next to a very well-known powerhouse of a woman. We all had on name tags about the size of a house. Our first names were splayed out in 3 inch letters, and our last names were a few inches below, in tiny letters. My tag said SHARON-DREW…. morgen. And we used the hypen between my names so people wouldn’t get confused :) Anyway, this woman – who was by no means stupid – kept calling me Sharon. I kept holding my name tag in front of my face saying, “Um, my first name is Sharon-Drew” and she kept ignoring me. I felt like I was speaking Serbo-Croatian. Finally I said to her, “What is my first name?”

‘Sharon.’

“Ok. And what is my last name?”

“Drew-Morgen.”  For this, she had to pull my huge first name down to my tiny last name, and ignore the hyphen and my requests.

‘Ok. So why does my name tag have my first name as two hyphenated words?”

“They obviously made a mistake.”

“Ok. And since we’ve been here 5 days, why haven’t I fixed it yet?”

“You haven’t had time.”

This woman, this smart smart woman who runs a well-known company, made up this entire fantasy story, took no conventional data ‘in,’ and then made up a story to prove she was right and I was wrong…. with my own name!

Reminded me of the time when a magazine editor put the name Charlotte Morgan under my picture in an article. I called him to tell him he had the name wrong and asked him to issue a correction. He said, and this is absolutely true:

“No I didn’t get your name wrong. You must have sent it to me wrong.”

Obviously, we make up stories in our heads and assume they are true, and the ‘right’ data is irrelevant if it doesn’t fit our map of the world!

So given that people are so stuck in their own words and worlds that data from the outside that goes against their conventional beliefs is irrelevant, how are we supposed to communicate?? Touch and feel each other? And email is just an extension of this.

I vote to use email only to share data, quick check-in notes between friends, and send addresses and phone numbers. I vote that feelings, personal sharing, thinking, and real communication takes place when people can hear/feel each other.

sd

There is still time to get the freebies for: Dirty Little Secrets: why buyers can’t buy and sellers can’t sell and what to do about it. Check out the site for more details.

Or consider purchasing the bundle: Dirty Little Secrets plus my last book Buying Facilitation™: the new way to sell that influences and expands decisions. These books were written to be read together, as they offer the full complement of concepts to help you learn and understand Buying Facilitation™ - the new skill set that gives you the ability to lead buyers through their buying decisions. You still get the freebies with the bundle order.

What is email for? is a post from: SharonDrewMorgen.com